I’m curing AIDS on Saturday. What are you doing with your weekend?

The Husband, our favorite lesbian, Scoots & I are playing in the AIDS WALK Open mini-golf pub crawl tomorrow. I can say with some certainty we won’t win due primarily to my complete lack of coordination and no skill with a sport involving a ball. But it should be an awesome time. If I’m not too drunk, I’ll try to remember to snap some pics and follow-up. I wouldn’t count on that if I were you. Chances are better, in fact, that at some point we say ‘fuck it’ and end up throwing darts at whatever bar we happen to be in. But they’ve got our $100 and I really feel that’s going to push the research over the edge and have the entire epidemic resolved by Sunday. Monday at the latest due to springing forward and all.

Which is good, cuz then we can double-down on cirrhosis research. Vital, considering all the pub crawls we do for cancer and AIDS and whatnot.

A short list of Missouri Republicans who can suck my dick.

The following may kneel at my feet and fellate at their earliest opportunity for making MY state look like the posterchild for petty, childish, lowlife dickthumpers. Tuesday evenings are best, but I can pencil you in on Wednesday mornings before 10 if I absolutely must because I like a late start on hump-day.

• Robert Cooper (Clinton)
• Dan Brown (Rolla)
• Rick Stream (Kirkwood)
• Jason Brown (Platte City)
• Mike Lair (Chillicothe)
• Shane Schoeller (Willard)
• Dwight Scharnhorst (Manchester)
• Barney Joe Fisher (Richards)
• Michael McGhee (Odessa)
• Walt Bivins (St. Louis)
• Doug Funderburk (St. Peters)
• Brian Nieves (Union…take your time)
• Doug Ervin (Kearney)
• Bob Nance (Excelsior Springs)
• Don Wells (Cabool…wtf?)
• Cynthia Davis (O’Fallon…and please, honey, keep the teeth to a minimum)

Why am I less-than-eagerly awaiting head from the fuckwits? Because this. Full joint resolution here.

The Dinah Shore.

I read about Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka a few months back and gave a cursory browse through the local shops and couldn’t find it. Jenny at the Making of a Foodie blog reminded me to look again. Now it’s everywhere, or at least Lukas Liquor Superstore, Gomer’s Midtown & Cosentino’s Downtown Market. If you haven’t tried it, it’s pretty darn good stuff. Ladybird and I were brainstorming cocktails for it in the car on the way to our favorite Midtown Indian eatery this afternoon. Here’s our riff on the Arnold Palmer, the Dinah Shore.

In a double old-fashioned filled with ice, pour half Firefly & half Santa Cruz Organic Lemonade. Stir & serve. Frankly delicious. I look forward to garnishing with some mint when spring arrives. And enjoying it around the pool this summer. Sure it’s a kiddie pool and there will be 2 or three greyhounds lounging in it and I doubt we’ll have a hot cabana boy to deliver drinks to me as I lie in my Martha Stewart for Kmart lounge chair, but it’ll be fabulous nonetheless.

Also, at Cosentino’s I noticed Sweet Carolina’s Sweet Tea Vodka (at a lower price point) and Jeremiah Weed Sweet Tea Liqueur. I’ve tried Jeremiah Weed’s original bourbon liqueur, and while it may be a favorite of the flyboys, it’s certainly not one of mine. Pass, thanks.