Kansas City, opinion, cocktails, snark.

August 22, 2008

Gloria, how’s it gonna go down?

Filed under: kansas city, politics — Tags: , , — akcb @ 3:42 am

Oy. The council’s proposed ordinance regulating volunteers in city offices has thrown Marky-Mark into a tailspin. He’s now vowing to ignore any law that would result in his wife being packed off to resume her doula-duties.

“I am not going to respond to the ordinance,” Funkhouser said. “I think this law is targeted at me, and I will probably ignore it.”

Well, here’s a hearty congrats to the Funk for finally recognizing something when it comes to his wife’s role as a “volunteer”. He seems oblivious to the fact that she’s a constant embarrassment to his administration, that the suit filed against her by a city employee could cost the city a buttload of money and that she’s made the city the punchline of many a local joke.

I’m of two minds about the whole thing. On the one hand, Gloria Squitiro is a distraction in getting the business of the city done.

On the other hand, I’ve never seen a soap opera in local politics play out in quite so fascinating a fashion. From the Christmas letter (seriously, if you haven’t read it, click the link) to the lawsuit, every week brings something new and hi-larious (if you’re lucky enough not to be a KCMO resident).

I feel we’re only weeks away from a skyclad Wiccan circle being held in the courtyard at City Hall to cast a protection spell on Gloria or a curse on Jan Marcason. Even better, perhaps once the ordinance passes, Wayne Cauthen will personally frog-march her ass to the ol’ Corolla and send her on her merry way back to Brookside. Either way, I’ll pack a picnic lunch; you bring your own lawnchair.

He said laws “big and small” are ignored all the time, specifically noting Jim Crow laws in the past.

As my dear friend Scoots pointed out, the smoking ban probably falls somewhere between big & small, so next time you’re at Davey’s, smoke ’em if you got ’em.

Nobody’s on this like TKC. Show him some love.


  1. Correction-Gloria drives a Honda to City Hall, and parks in the City Hall garage by her husband’s Toyota. Is her car the freebie?

    Comment by Mille — August 23, 2008 @ 2:41 am

  2. Thanks for the props. I love this amazing soap opers.

    Comment by Scoots — August 26, 2008 @ 2:01 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: