- Department of the Interior’s Mineral Management Service caught up in sex, drug scandal. Last time my money went for hookers and blow, I remember it being a lot more fun.
- “I said thanks but no thanks for that bridge to nowhere”…but I totally kept the money.
- Fare-thee-well, La Squitiro. I’ll miss you terribly. KC, you know it’s not going to really change anything, right? He’s just a shit mayor and now we’re losing the only thing that made his (hopefully) short tenure bearable.
- Joe Biden to wheelchair-bound state Senator Chuck Graham: “Stand up, Chuck!” Still, not quite as good as when the preznit asked the blind guy if he was gonna “ask a question with those shades on,” but delightfully awkward, nonetheless.