Kansas City, opinion, cocktails, snark.

September 18, 2008

Johnny’s angels.

Carly Fiorina is on restrictions after pulling a Biden on the television machine yesterday. When asked if she thought Sarah Palin would be capable of running a company like Hewlett-Packard, she replied with a succinct, “No, I don’t.” When asked to clarify her statement…well, this:

“I don’t think John McCain could run a major corporation”

If anyone knows corporate mismanagement, it’s Fiorina. It wasn’t so very long ago when security packed up The Lady’s desk, handed her a $21 million dollar severance package and escorted her ass to the front door of HP’s headquarters over her difference of opinion with the board on how best to execute the company’s business strategy (the board, presumably, wanted to do so in fashion that resulted in a profit).

DNC member Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild (both a PUMA and a cougar…rowrrr!), married to a Knight of the British Empire named Evelyn and with homes on two continents, took a break from feasting on the marrow bones of the poor to endorse John McCain today. Because Barack Obama’s an elitist. Uh, Mr. Dean, I think it might be time for a housecleaning. A bitch-slapping wouldn’t be totally amiss.

Will Witchfinder General be a Cabinet-level post under a McCain-Palin administration? All signs point to yes as a new Preacher Problem reared its head today. La Palin has credited “Bishop” Thomas Muthee’s laying on of hands as just the push her gubenatorial campaign needed on the road to Juneau. When not hard at work as a batshit-crazy spiritual leader and way-maker for the Lord, the good “Bishop” likes to spend his downtime inciting violence against women in his native Kenya. For causing causing car accidents. Through witchcraft. There’s fucked up and then there’s fucked up. Do all average hockey mom’s speak in tongues, get groped for Jeebus and hang out with nutjobs? But don’t take my word for it:

I grow more concerned…

Also, Palin’s “full cooperation” in the Troopergate probe transformed today into “fuck your subpoenas, fucker.” But since this story suffers from being a) not nearly as sensationalistic and awesome as the witchfinder, and 2) totally expected, it’s hardly worth mentioning at all.

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