Kansas City, opinion, cocktails, snark.

August 22, 2008

Questions arise.

Filed under: politics — Tags: , , , , , — akcb @ 4:26 am

Is John McCain senile or just an out-of-touch elitist?

When asked how many houses he owned, the Senator from Arizona seemed a bit hazy:

“I think — I’ll have my staff get to you,” McCain told Politico in Las Cruces, N.M. “It’s condominiums where — I’ll have them get to you.”

The Real Estalker puts it into perspective:

Your Mama would not expect Senator McCain to accurately say how many pairs of shoes are in his closet or the number of rubber bands taking up space in his junk drawer, but we certainly expect he be able to count the number of damn homes he owns. Pleeze.

Sam Seder reminds us that real estate isn’t the only thing about which the McCain’s haven’t clear in recent days:

Which is greater, the number of homes John McCain has or the number of half sisters Cindy McCain has and pretends don’t exist?

For those who missed this fun story, clickety.

Perhaps now we can put to bed the Obama-arugula elitist bullshit, because let’s face it. They’re both pretty successful people. They have nicer homes (well, the Obama’s just have the one), better contacts and cooler shit than you do, loser. Christ, you make me sick.

Edited to add the response from the McCain campain. See, it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t know how many properties he owns, because he was a POW, and oh yeah, your mom. I believe I shall call douchebaggery.

Gloria, how’s it gonna go down?

Filed under: kansas city, politics — Tags: , , — akcb @ 3:42 am

Oy. The council’s proposed ordinance regulating volunteers in city offices has thrown Marky-Mark into a tailspin. He’s now vowing to ignore any law that would result in his wife being packed off to resume her doula-duties.

“I am not going to respond to the ordinance,” Funkhouser said. “I think this law is targeted at me, and I will probably ignore it.”

Well, here’s a hearty congrats to the Funk for finally recognizing something when it comes to his wife’s role as a “volunteer”. He seems oblivious to the fact that she’s a constant embarrassment to his administration, that the suit filed against her by a city employee could cost the city a buttload of money and that she’s made the city the punchline of many a local joke.

I’m of two minds about the whole thing. On the one hand, Gloria Squitiro is a distraction in getting the business of the city done.

On the other hand, I’ve never seen a soap opera in local politics play out in quite so fascinating a fashion. From the Christmas letter (seriously, if you haven’t read it, click the link) to the lawsuit, every week brings something new and hi-larious (if you’re lucky enough not to be a KCMO resident).

I feel we’re only weeks away from a skyclad Wiccan circle being held in the courtyard at City Hall to cast a protection spell on Gloria or a curse on Jan Marcason. Even better, perhaps once the ordinance passes, Wayne Cauthen will personally frog-march her ass to the ol’ Corolla and send her on her merry way back to Brookside. Either way, I’ll pack a picnic lunch; you bring your own lawnchair.

He said laws “big and small” are ignored all the time, specifically noting Jim Crow laws in the past.

As my dear friend Scoots pointed out, the smoking ban probably falls somewhere between big & small, so next time you’re at Davey’s, smoke ’em if you got ’em.

Nobody’s on this like TKC. Show him some love.

August 19, 2008

Glory be!

Filed under: politics, rachel maddow, Stuff that doesn't suck — Tags: , , — akcb @ 11:31 pm

America’s favorite civics geek & mannish woman (and love of my iPod-listening life), Rachel Maddow, is replacing Dan Abrams in the 8pm CST slot on MSNBC. Congratulations to the good doctor!

Tune in Sept. 8 for what his hopefully a long run of well-informed, thoughtful and awesomely hot television.

August 2, 2008

Said it before & I’ll say it again.

Filed under: politics, rachel maddow, Stuff that doesn't suck — Tags: , — akcb @ 12:18 am

I love Rachel Maddow. Enjoy Uncle Pat’s smackdown at the hands of America’s sweetheart.

July 17, 2008

Some stuff I found lying around on the internets.

April 10, 2008

Walnuts & Kindasleazy: a winning combination?

Filed under: politics — Tags: , , , — akcb @ 3:47 am

A new Marist College/WNBC poll suggests a McCain/Rice ticket could take New York’s 31 electoral votes.

Totally understandable. Condi’s a very big supporter of New York. After all, she was dropping major bank into their local economy buying Ferragamo’s & tickets to Broadway shows while New Orleans drowned.

Also, in McCain’s favor it’s recently been revealed that he called his wife a cunt in a ’92 campaign stop. According to my television machine, this word is very popular with New Yorkers. Plus he’s elderly and confused. New Yorkers loved this about Reagan in ’80 & ’84.

March 26, 2008

Chalk one up for the big guy.

Filed under: Food, kansas city, missouri, politics — Tags: , , — akcb @ 3:54 am


Kansas and Missouri lawmakers are proposing limiting language on milk bottles. Looks like aggie drug pushers & DFA dairies are afraid small, locally-owned dairies like Shatto are cutting into their piece of the pie. Sadness.

Killer quote: “Some customers, however, don’t trust the FDA and want to avoid milk from hormone-treated animals.”

I can’t imagine from where this lack of trust comes . It’s a puzzle.

I’m a big fan of Shatto products for a couple of reasons, chiefly their glass bottles are returnable for the deposit, so I’m producing less waste and that’s less to carry out on trash day. And I’m really lazy.

March 21, 2008

All the world’s a stage upon which we can perform a play from which David Mamet gets a cut.

Filed under: politics, religion — Tags: — akcb @ 3:53 am


La Mamet is living the dream. Thanks, PrimeBuzz girls, for putting me off my gin.

March 17, 2008

2008 batshit-crazy preacher endorsement watch: Republicans, 2; Democrats, 1

Filed under: politics, religion — Tags: , , , , , — akcb @ 11:40 pm


See, this is the kind of shit that happens when we have a very real but rarely-talked-about religious litmus test for public office in this country.

McCain’s in the lead with endorsements from two Christofacist idiots.

Barack Obama’s jittles are in a wringer over controversial statements made by his preacher. This, from what I can discern in the librul media, is much more damning, since Obama has been attending this particular church for twenty years (at least when he wasn’t attending radical Muslim bombing classes as part of his training to lead America’s Biggest Sleeper Cell) whereas McCain only began courting batshit-crazy preachers for endorsments when he realized if he wanted to be president he’d have to cast aside all his principles and get jiggy with the Jeebus-freaks who comprise much of the Republican base. (Google news story count for a “‘barack obama’ ‘jeremiah wright'” : 1869)

  • Jeremiah Wright Jr.: “The government gives them [blacks] the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strikes law and then wants us to sing ‘God bless America.’ No, no, no, not ‘God bless America.’ God damn America.”

And just for fun, from one of my favorite movies, “The Contender”

And, Mr. Chairman, I stand for the separation of Church and State, and the reason that I stand for that is the same reason that I believe our forefathers did. It is not there to protect religion from the grasp of government but to protect our government from the grasp of religious fanaticism.

Now, I may be an atheist, but that does not mean I do not go to church. I do go to church. The church I go to is the one that emancipated the slaves and gave women the right to vote. It gave us every freedom that we hold dear. My church is this very Chapel of Democracy that we sit in together, and I do not need God to tell me what are my moral absolutes. I need my heart, my brain, and this church.”

    March 12, 2008

    Resolved: adultery knows no party affiliation (but only one party rides the family-values wagon until the wheels fall off).

    Filed under: politics — Tags: , , — akcb @ 1:17 am


    In light of Eliot Spitzer’s (and David Vitter’s and Bill Clinton’s and Newt Gingrich’s, etc. etc.) revelation that he cheated on his wife with a prostitute whose services cost more than my monthly take-home, I gently borrow from Bill Maher and suggest three New Rules for politicians (and their families) who find themselves in this stickiest of wickets.

    1. You must resign. If you did it, you did it on the people’s time and the people’s dime. We’re not paying you to troll the internet for hookers or airport bathrooms for stealthy handies. You fucked up and now you’re done.
    2. As an alternative to standing stoically next to you as you illuminate your misdeeds before scores of cameras, your spouse, should he or she so choose, has every right to beat you to death with a Louisville Slugger with a single nail in it. In front of the cameras. I don’t believe your constituents will mind if said spouse submits the receipt for the bat & nail to the legislature for reimbursement.
    3. You must publically support gay marriage. You no longer have the right to deny marriage to anyone if you take your vows so lightly. Man up and endorse the man-on-man matrimony.

    Edited to add: Can we, as a nation, come together and slap this idiot into next week?

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